This is an actual news story out of Wyoming. News station KTWO interviewed a woman named Divel McLean, who claims a bottle of salad dressing she owns, is possessed and attacked her.
“I heard pop, pop, pop. I looked up, it was possessed. It was going crazy. It was shooting up in the air, to the side,” she said. “It sounded like a firecracker going off in the house. Real loud.”
The salad dressing company released a statement that the product was recalled because of a bacteria that could cause a bottle to pop open.
“Well, it’s hard to explain I was attacked by a bottle of salad dressing,” she mused. “I think he probably thought I was into whisky or somethin’.”